Hey folks, Archbishop Daniel here. Let’s talk about something real that probably most married couples have faced at one time or another. You know the feeling: life gets overwhelmingly busy. Between jobs, kids, bills, and just the general noise of the world, you can start to feel less like passionate partners and more like two friendly coworkers who are managing a household.
You live under the same roof but you’re moving on parallel tracks, barely crossing paths. Conversations are all about logistics—”Who’s picking up the kids?” “Did you pay the electric bill?”—and the deep, connecting chats just seem to vanish. It’s not that you’re angry or that there’s a big problem to fight about. It’s more like a quiet distance has settled in.
If that sounds familiar, please hear me: this is normal. It doesn’t mean your marriage is broken or that you married the wrong person. It often just means life has gotten in the way. The good news is, you can find your way back. Here are a few ways to start bridging that gap.
1. Name It Without Blame
The first step is to acknowledge it, but you have to be careful how you bring it up. Using a lot of “you never…” statements will make your partner defensive. Instead, try talking about the feeling itself. You could say something like, “You know, I feel like we’ve been like ships passing in the night lately with our crazy schedules. I really miss our time together.” This isn’t an accusation; it’s an invitation. It opens the door to talk about the disconnect as a team, as something you can tackle together.
2. Reclaim the Micro-Moments
We often think we need a fancy two-week vacation to reconnect. While that’s nice, it’s not always practical. The repair often happens in the small, daily moments. It’s about choosing to put your phone down when they’re telling you about their day. It’s a intentional 20-second hug when you first see each other in the evening—long enough to actually feel it. It’s making eye contact and a real effort to be fully present, even if it’s just for five minutes before everyone crashes. These micro-moments build up and rebuild the connection brick by brick.
3. Remember Your “Why?”
It’s so easy to forget. Take some time to intentionally remember what brought you together in the first place. Look at old photos. Tell the story of your first date. Remind each other of a tough time you got through together. This isn’t just about nostalgia; it’s about anchoring yourselves back in your shared story and the covenant you made before God. That foundation is your bedrock.
4. Pray Together
This is the most powerful tool we have as couples of faith. Praying together is incredibly intimate. It doesn’t have to be a long, formal sermon. It can be simple. Holding hands and just asking God to draw you closer, to help you see each other with fresh eyes, and to give you strength for your family. When you pray together, you’re inviting God directly into the middle of your relationship to do a work that you can’t do on your own.
A season of distance doesn’t have to be the end of the story. Often, it’s just a new chapter waiting to be written—one where you both choose to lean in and find each other all over again.
If you’re feeling stuck and need someone to talk to, please don’t hesitate to reach out. My door is always open.
My Blessings to you all.