Marriage, our most sacred bond, is not diminished by building a social network; rather, it benefits from it.
The majority of modern couples may feel threatened by the thought of joining an alternate, intimate social network. However, it is the case. There isn’t another aspect of a relationship, in my opinion, that can arouse as much dread, rumours, and intrigue. The conventional wisdom holds that expanding your circle of trust beyond your marriage is detrimental. That it is dishonest, greedy, or harsh, or that it can result in affairs and destroy intimacy.
You shouldn’t take this issue lightly. However, I would contend that a lack of a personal connection and direction rather than outside relationships is what ultimately causes marriages to fall apart. These components don’t vanish due to external forces; rather, they vanish due to internal forces, notably through our flawed notions of compatibility, proportionality of contribution, and the giving of love.
Unfortunately, the fear-based worries that modern couples have about other relationships lead them to choose an exclusive romantic partnership and to avoid other social interactions. They could consequently find the experience of marriage to be alienating.
Most people don’t go through prolonged periods of social isolation until they are married. Prior to getting married, we usually engage with our extended family frequently and are socially active. As a result, many people are unprepared for the isolating effects of marriage, especially when children are involved.
Isolation can be extremely harmful to one’s health. We frequently discover our purpose in and through our community, and we typically find solutions to our issues in daily life by talking to those who are wiser than we are, such as our parents, siblings, cousins, neighbours, or God. Therefore, we are more likely to experience despair and anxiety when we cut ourselves off from society. The excellence, profundity, and prophetic vision that marriage brings are diminished by this despair and anxiety.
Marriage is reduced to a hospice where partners care for each other’s mental illnesses.
We create space to liberate joy in our marriage by fostering those private social networks. We change the proportion of time we spend, moving from primarily fixing problems to having meaningful interactions. This allows us to concentrate on forming connections and creating intimacy.
So don’t be afraid to create some extramarital friends as they could be your key to good mental and marriage health.